Schools and teachers

Team up with the Teachers and children

Teachers are human too! They need to be treated with dignity and respect, to be allowed to achieve their rightful status as capable individuals. Why is that so many teachers show signs of frustration, anxiety? Blame it on the educational system – classes that are bursting at the seams, heavy schedules; co-curricular duties, pressures from higher-ups, inadequate salaries.

 

In most schools teachers are told what to do, how to do it, when to do it. There are achievement goals set up for them. They are forced to compete with one another and with outside school forces. They are given a dress code worthy of a teenager and told what to leave off their faces. Sometimes they are even told how to behave outside the classroom, and how to fill their spare time. They are forced to participate in out-of-the-box activities playground duty, lunch duty, bus duty. They have to present school plays and battle through hours of production rehearsals, ticket setting, costume making. They are called to organize newspaper drives, craft fairs. Open days; to handle craft, needlework, elocution – which may not interest some of them. And meet certain educational standards and maintain and orderly classroom.

Enough Said?

So when you are scared of facing your child’s teacher, remember surprise, surprise s/he is really terrified of you! Now it’s easy to meet a teacher if your pride ‘n’ joy is her pride ‘n’ joy in every which way. But if your Meher finishes her work in a trice and disrupts the rest, your Manav takes forever to understand a concept, your Mandy boasts all day about all things real and imaginary, your Mohsin is friendless and withdrawn – the situation is more delicate. Confident parents and competent teachers take pride in the jobs that they are doing and have possessive feelings about their small charges. But sometimes each side secretly feels that the child would cope better if the other would handle him more effectively. If you accept the fact that your child’s teacher is trying just as hard as you are, you can forge a more co-operative relationship. Together you can work at understanding your child, overcoming weak points, help develop a well rounded person. Here are a few strategies.

Pave the way

In the very first week of a new term, meet your child’s class teacher and give her a short note detailing

• A clear history of your child’s past
• Interests, what he responds to well, what badly
• Allergies and illnesses

Compliment her on what your child appreciates at this juncture and offer your help. Then leave it to her to apply this information. There’s no need to corner the teacher and repeat the same stuff at every inopportune moment. Don’t insist on a telephone number – take it only if proffered and use it reasonably, not to gossip about other about marks.

Don’t fight rules

Good manners and a strong sense of values – at home and at school – are crucial to a child’s growth. Demand that your child consistently completes tasks at home from chores to homework satisfactorily and reward efforts with encouragement and praise. Discipline is something that has to be developed from within, by work and feeling a sense of responsibility to others in how they perform it. If you child grumbles about the teacher look at the issue objectively, without getting your own ego into a twist. There are parents who go screeching into school saying “why has John got less marks then Sheela?” “How  can you punish Gogo  for long hair / dirty shoes!” there are parents who actually help a child to cheat, who lie about ill health so as to get more marks in the Big Bad Test.

 

Bailing your child out of tough spots and making excuses about questionable behavior and shoddy work does not help should a useful adult. Never bad mouth the teacher in front of the child, but if you feel that your child is being picked on, first try to talk to the teacher to head off a personality clash. If this doesn’t work and your child still feels marginalized take up the issue with the Head Mistress.

Talk of strengths

Maya was an exceptionally shy child who had moved from another school, because of a change of residence. Her mother met the class teacher and revealed that Maya was talented in art craft. In the ensuing project on festivals of India under the teacher’s supervision Maya created a gorgeous Gogul Ashtami model, painted a life size Santa Claus and a fireworks collage. The other children kept running to her for help and spurred her on with “Wows” of appreciation. Maya’s self esteem zoomed, she began to open up and became more friendly and outgoing. The parent-teacher partnership was responsible for the transformation. Ali children are not equal. Sometimes a teacher is not able to upturn talents and interests when the parent gives her a nudge. Any teacher worth her salt will appreciate this information.